I would like to share something that I was thinking about today. I think it is an inspiring topic.
I'm currently listening to "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars. It's a beautiful song with beautiful words. One line is very lovely indeed: 'If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same." The man in the song loves the woman so much that he doesn't see a single flaw in her, even though she probably sees plenty in herself!
Being a woman brings with it very common plaguing fears over, sadly, what we perceive to be our inadequacies. We go through rituals of comparing ourselves to others, fretting over the size of our hips, the spots on our face, the shade of our teeth- the list is endless. And when we feel we have 'worked out' one inadequacy, it won't be long before we're battling with another.
It isn't just in appearance. We worry about out personalities, about being too shy or too loud, or too overbearing, or too weak, or too serious, or too sad; again, the list is endless.
When it comes to being a Christian, I know that I can often do the same thing with my spiritual life. I think about all the mistakes I've made that week or that day, and I compare myself with this person who prays for an hour every morning when I can barely manage more than fifteen minutes at a time, or with somebody else who also seems to be 'doing much more for God' than me, and I wonder how on earth I'll get any better.
Today I had a revelation which, if I endeavour to put into practice as much as possible, I'm sure will sort out my attitudes so that suddenly all these 'plaguing fears' will be put to rest!
I was standing in the queue to buy a sandwhich for my lunch. Suddenly the thought crossed my mind, 'you know, God sees you as perfect.' The Bruno Mars song popped into my head, and particularly that line, 'If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same.' I had just been churning over many less-than-happy thoughts about my appearance and inadequacies. I thought, 'nice thought!', but promptly forgot about it as I thought it would take far too much of an effort of faith to thoroughly believe it with all my heart- not just in my head.
Then when I got into the shop, you'll never guess what song was playing! That's right, Bruno Mars, "Just the way you are"! Call me a romantic, call me far-fetched, call me whatever you like!, but I believe that was God speaking to me. He sees me as a perfect, just because I have faith in him.
To me, that song represents how God feels about us. He adores us, and sees no imperfection in us, even though we're fundamentally sinners, and will be untill we die! He just loves us, and that's it.
It's time we- and I- started living in the light of this, and stopped living in the lies which makes us feel so bad about ourselves.
Jesus died for us, so let's not live like we're worthless! We're unique, beautiful, lovely and LOVED. Just the way we are.
Friday, 19 November 2010
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Goodbye and Hello!
I went back to Roubaix yesterday, to return a set of pillowcases which I had accidentally taken from the house of my au pair family after I finished with them. It was lovely to see them again. The kids were all sitting round the dinner table like I'd seen them do so often. They were pleased to see me. Almost straight away, Clémence wasted no time in telling me that she had a new electric horse, and Thomas showed me what he was eating. I still felt 'part of the family' so to speak, like a big sister, but I was no longer part of the household. Things have moved on. The kids have moved on; Clémence has started school already; the baby's grown. I've moved on, too. I'm moved on into new and greater adventures.
It can be hard. Change is always hard. There are sadnesses which come with it. It's sad to leave the ones you love behind- even if it is only a few kilometres behind you - and the things you were familiar doing. It's uncomfortable when you have to leave something that you've grown accustomed to; a job you felt safe in; a routine you were familiar with. But more than that is the excitement and expectation which comes with stepping out into something completely new and different. To know that you're taking a step and moving out in a direction which will ultimately bring you to your goal.
I started university today at l'Institut Catholique de Lille. I will be studying here for the next two years, having transferred my credits from my Masters course in Glasgow University to a course called LCE2 (licence en anglais) which basically means I'm starting in my 2nd year of an English degree, here in France.
My very first lecture was at 8am - o horror of horrors - which meant I had to wake up at the enthralling time of 5.45am. I made sure to leave plenty of time to get to the university (which is about a 15 minute walk from my house). Unfortunately I hadn't bargained for the confusing room-number system which appears to be in place at la Catho (a shortened name which one often hears in place of l'Institut Catholique de Lille, which is the university's full or Sunday-name, if you like!). I was supposed to be in salle 276 for my lecture on American Government, but I could only find salles 269 and 280, with not much in between. I asked directions from a secretary's office, but this landed me in a greater sense of disorientation. Fortunately Suzanne (a lecturer at la Catho, also a friend from church!) found me in my disorientated stupor and got someone to take me to my class and explain my lack of presence for the first hour. I was just in time to hear lots of big words including 'Confederation', 'democracy', etc, etc. In fact, I had made it just on time to be early for my next class- a seminar on the same subject!! My terrorized heart was quietened when I realised that this frightening talk would actually take place, for the mostpart, in English. So I took enough notes to cover me for my 'missed' lecture.
After this was my 'English oral' class. I can tell this is going to be a challenging class. Or, not! In order to help us build-up our confidence in communicating verbally in the English language, we introduced ourselves to our fellow classmates, telling each other our names, ages, favourite ice-cream flavours, and which anglophone countries we'd already visited. I discovered in this class that two of my classmates are bilingual, so I won't be the only one feeling slightly and awkwardly competent in er... my English-speaking skills. There's a girl who has an Irish surname - she's 21- and a guy of 19 who's sounds very English; both are fluent in my opinion. My tutor for this class was a girl who is now coming to church, too! In fact she comes to House Group and she isn't that much older than me. I had lunch with her after class.
This afternoon I had my French-as-a-foreign-language exam which was to determine into which level I should be placed, i.e. there will be 3 or 4 groups of us arranged into competency. It was a fairly hard exam, but I felt it was a honest evaluation of my level. In some ways it doesn't matter how well I did; what matters is that I get placed in a group which challenges me but doesn't crush my spirit.
I copied out my timetable today. I'll definetely be at university a few more hours than I'd originally thought, but hey, it's the middle year of my degree and I can't expect a light-load. Much of my course is going to be very, very interesting and enjoying. Things like creative writing, German, linguistics and filmology. Even translation. I do enjoy a good translate every so often.
I should go to bed now and not sleep away too much of my last day of freedom tomorrow.
Tschuss and ciao.
It can be hard. Change is always hard. There are sadnesses which come with it. It's sad to leave the ones you love behind- even if it is only a few kilometres behind you - and the things you were familiar doing. It's uncomfortable when you have to leave something that you've grown accustomed to; a job you felt safe in; a routine you were familiar with. But more than that is the excitement and expectation which comes with stepping out into something completely new and different. To know that you're taking a step and moving out in a direction which will ultimately bring you to your goal.
I started university today at l'Institut Catholique de Lille. I will be studying here for the next two years, having transferred my credits from my Masters course in Glasgow University to a course called LCE2 (licence en anglais) which basically means I'm starting in my 2nd year of an English degree, here in France.
My very first lecture was at 8am - o horror of horrors - which meant I had to wake up at the enthralling time of 5.45am. I made sure to leave plenty of time to get to the university (which is about a 15 minute walk from my house). Unfortunately I hadn't bargained for the confusing room-number system which appears to be in place at la Catho (a shortened name which one often hears in place of l'Institut Catholique de Lille, which is the university's full or Sunday-name, if you like!). I was supposed to be in salle 276 for my lecture on American Government, but I could only find salles 269 and 280, with not much in between. I asked directions from a secretary's office, but this landed me in a greater sense of disorientation. Fortunately Suzanne (a lecturer at la Catho, also a friend from church!) found me in my disorientated stupor and got someone to take me to my class and explain my lack of presence for the first hour. I was just in time to hear lots of big words including 'Confederation', 'democracy', etc, etc. In fact, I had made it just on time to be early for my next class- a seminar on the same subject!! My terrorized heart was quietened when I realised that this frightening talk would actually take place, for the mostpart, in English. So I took enough notes to cover me for my 'missed' lecture.
After this was my 'English oral' class. I can tell this is going to be a challenging class. Or, not! In order to help us build-up our confidence in communicating verbally in the English language, we introduced ourselves to our fellow classmates, telling each other our names, ages, favourite ice-cream flavours, and which anglophone countries we'd already visited. I discovered in this class that two of my classmates are bilingual, so I won't be the only one feeling slightly and awkwardly competent in er... my English-speaking skills. There's a girl who has an Irish surname - she's 21- and a guy of 19 who's sounds very English; both are fluent in my opinion. My tutor for this class was a girl who is now coming to church, too! In fact she comes to House Group and she isn't that much older than me. I had lunch with her after class.
This afternoon I had my French-as-a-foreign-language exam which was to determine into which level I should be placed, i.e. there will be 3 or 4 groups of us arranged into competency. It was a fairly hard exam, but I felt it was a honest evaluation of my level. In some ways it doesn't matter how well I did; what matters is that I get placed in a group which challenges me but doesn't crush my spirit.
I copied out my timetable today. I'll definetely be at university a few more hours than I'd originally thought, but hey, it's the middle year of my degree and I can't expect a light-load. Much of my course is going to be very, very interesting and enjoying. Things like creative writing, German, linguistics and filmology. Even translation. I do enjoy a good translate every so often.
I should go to bed now and not sleep away too much of my last day of freedom tomorrow.
Tschuss and ciao.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Oui-oui
I thought it would be fun to reflect on the changes that living in France for ALMOST A YEAR NOW! has brought about in my life.
Let's begin with my diet, since the French seem to be so big on this anyway! Do I think I'm like a francaise in my eating habits? Answer: not quite yet. Although I've definetely been influenced! I still prefer having my dinner at an earlier time in the evening, if possible, and often still find it difficult to stomach a massive breakfast (including bread!) first thing in the morning. But the ways my diet have changed are as follows:
1. I think I eat far more healthily now. Spurred on by the example of my au pair family (with whom I lived for more than two months), I drink water with almost every meal and much more besides, I try and have vegetables or fruit with every meal (and often multiples of vegetables at dinner-time) and I think my diet is also more balanced.
2. My dinner-eating times, whether I like this or not, have gradually changed. I used to eat dinner at about 6pm in Scotland, whereas my average dinner-eating time here in France is 7.30pm.
3. I eat a lot more bread and cheese now. But who wouldn't; not when Roquefort is so delicious and readily available, and there is such an extensive variety of nutritious but scrumptious breads!
Obviously, I feel my French has come on quite a lot since moving here. I don't know about calling myself fluent yet, but having spoken French almost all summer-time with my au pair family, and speaking it more readily and accurately now (I hope!) with others, I feel like I'm on a good path! I was told by various people that I've got very good French-speaking skills and Caroline, the au pair mum, even told her mum and aunt that I was just about fluent! Of course I don't always feel fluent, and I learn new things about the language all the time and get corrected often, but I do believe that once I've completed my studies here, I should be just about at the bilingual/fluent level.
I think it goes without saying that French-ness is rubbing off on me, and I feel it's definetely for the better.
Let's begin with my diet, since the French seem to be so big on this anyway! Do I think I'm like a francaise in my eating habits? Answer: not quite yet. Although I've definetely been influenced! I still prefer having my dinner at an earlier time in the evening, if possible, and often still find it difficult to stomach a massive breakfast (including bread!) first thing in the morning. But the ways my diet have changed are as follows:
1. I think I eat far more healthily now. Spurred on by the example of my au pair family (with whom I lived for more than two months), I drink water with almost every meal and much more besides, I try and have vegetables or fruit with every meal (and often multiples of vegetables at dinner-time) and I think my diet is also more balanced.
2. My dinner-eating times, whether I like this or not, have gradually changed. I used to eat dinner at about 6pm in Scotland, whereas my average dinner-eating time here in France is 7.30pm.
3. I eat a lot more bread and cheese now. But who wouldn't; not when Roquefort is so delicious and readily available, and there is such an extensive variety of nutritious but scrumptious breads!
Obviously, I feel my French has come on quite a lot since moving here. I don't know about calling myself fluent yet, but having spoken French almost all summer-time with my au pair family, and speaking it more readily and accurately now (I hope!) with others, I feel like I'm on a good path! I was told by various people that I've got very good French-speaking skills and Caroline, the au pair mum, even told her mum and aunt that I was just about fluent! Of course I don't always feel fluent, and I learn new things about the language all the time and get corrected often, but I do believe that once I've completed my studies here, I should be just about at the bilingual/fluent level.
I think it goes without saying that French-ness is rubbing off on me, and I feel it's definetely for the better.
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
The Girl on the Bench
Proof that you can do anything if you set your mind to it! I've managed to finally fulfil one of my life-long ambitions by publishing a book. I can't tell you what the story's about; you'll have to find out for yourself! Follow this link to purchase your very own copy.
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