I've just got back from a short break to London with my mum, which has been beneficial for many reasons: I got to catch up with my mum, whom I hadn't seen in person since Christmas, it was a complete change and break away from my normal routine, I was able to really catch up on some sleep, and I also got to see one of my best friends who came down to meet me for the afternoon from her university in Wales. I stayed in a four-star hotel in the area of London known as 'Kensington', whose name I refuse to give a nasal 'ng' sound when I pronounce it. Even though I've been corrected many times.
Part of our schedule included a shopping and Starbucks-trip to Oxford street, a delicious hotel fish-and-chips meal, two English-style cooked breakfasts, a trip to the Natural History Museum and lots of blethering!
One of the revelations I had during my break-away was something that every Christian brought-up-as-a-Christian has been taught since they were knee-high. Namely, that you shouldn't worry. Especially not about the future, since, as the cliché reminds us, "God is already there". I realised that, like I had heard in a sermon at church the Sunday before, that for many weeks I'd been living too far ahead of myself. What do I mean by this? Basically, I'd always been planning for the next deadline or event, trying to keep up with demands which were mostly self-imposed, and not being able to fully enjoy the moment.
I decided that I needed to focus on each day at a time, and only what I had to do in the next 12 hours. I needed to free myself up a little more and give myself time and room to relax and enjoy life. After all, being a student means two things. Work, of course, but also time to develop and enjoy hobbies and interests, time to meet and get to know friends better, even time to travel a little. Now I'm not saying I'm a workaholic or not able to enjoy myself. That's definetely not true, but I think that sometimes I can tend to bite off a little more than I can chew. I needed to remind myself again that all the 'have to dos' and 'must dos' can really only be done in God's grace, and he only gives us grace for each moment- not for something that's going to happen in 6 weeks time, or even next week or tomorrow. So actually there's no point in wasting any anxious thought over tomorrow. Of course it's good to plan ahead, but the NOW is far more important than the THEN. In the NOW we have the friends which belong to our present, the enjoyments of the present, and the God of the present, and we need to slow down and enjoy these. The present is indeed a gift, which so often goes to waste.
Since our future's safe in God's hands, why shouldn't we enjoy the present? I've decided I'm going to enjoy it. Fighting anxiety is something many people have to do, but I think it's definetely worth it.
