The Titanic, Suffering and Other Thoughts

Last night I saw 'Titanic' for the first time in ages with Max. I'd forgotten how heart-wrenching it is and needless to say I cried so many tears that I'm sure my tear-reservoir must be completely dry now. However, while being moved by the pain and beauty of the film and the reality of the event it's based on, my mind also decided to do a little philosophising. Or theology...ing, whichever word fits better in the context!

I began to think about all the tragic things that go and have gone on in the world. So much suffering, death and injustice. Over 1000 people alone died when the Titanic sunk. So many lives would have been affected by it, both directly and indirectly. Then just skip ahead a couple of decades and you have the World Wars, whose devastation cannot begin to be described or comprehended. Through these events alone humankind has been subjected to unbearable suffering, great injustice, so much death and grief. It's no wonder we wonder, why?

As a believer, it can be hard to marry the belief that God is loving and good with the idea that He is all powerful and all-knowing, when it seems as though he has allowed so much evil to over-run the people He loves. I don't claim to have many answers at all. I don't think anyone ever will have all the answers, and that's one of the reasons why faith is faith, because it's what you choose to do with all your questions and doubts and fears that matters. You can either trust that God is loving and good, and hang everything on that, or allow the doubts to cloud your faith.

Recently something happened which got me thinking about this, at least a week before watching 'Titanic'. My wonderful boyfriend, the sweetest and most un-violent looking man that you've ever seen, got beaten up by two men for no reason. He was quite badly injured, although not seriously thank God. We were both very shaken  by the incident, as I'm sure you can imagine, and his face will take some time to recover. Things we've taken from the experience are the realisation that injustice and pure evil are very much alive and well in our world, but also that these incidents can do a lot to bring you closer together as a couple, and to grow your faith in God; which almost seems like an oxymoron, as it's also during these times that you can have the most doubts and questions.

This is one of the only answers I can give, personally, to the 'Why does God allow suffering?' question. I've always known a special comfort during the hardest times in my life- a knowledge that God is with me and that He loves me. Perhaps instead of asking 'why?' during these times, we could be asking 'where?', and realise that the answer is, right here! We don't suffer alone because God is with us and can give us 'peace that passes all understanding''' (Phillipians 4:7), hope for our future, and faith to believe that good can come out of anything. Personally I don't believe that God causes suffering, but that He can use it to our advantage, or turn it around for good. And I think that like it or not, we often come out stronger at the end, ready to take on new challenges in our lives, or help other people through similar difficulties which they might have to go through.

Also, those who believe in God also believe that in the end ''God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes, and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:4) Suffering and even death aren't the end of the story, because one day we'll go to be with God where there'll be no more sorrow, or crying, or violence or injustice. 

In 'Titanic', one of the most touching moments for me is when the orchestra starts to play the beautiful hymn 'Nearer my God to Thee'. They decide not to attempt escaping like hundreds of others by fighting for places in the few lifeboats, but to go down with the ship. All throughout their last moments they're playing this song which would have reminded them that they were just a step away from being with God who'd take away all the sorrow and suffering they'd ever experienced in their lives. And I'm sure that like many of us have already experienced in our own lives, they were finding that they felt God so close to them right there and then, as he is to everyone who is ever suffering or broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18).

Yummy Yummy Home-Made Quiche

Wow. I can't believe that I, celui who failed her home-economics class not once but TWICE in S2 (second of year of secondary/high-school education in Scotland) and who often causes so much hilarity and fear in the kitchen, is blogging about recipes. But I'm going to suggest that leopards CAN change their spots. With a bit of creativity, and a strong desire to succeed, someone who was probably born without the cooking gene (they apparently all went into my sister who's baking is unbelievable) can become someone who LOVES cooking, who can cook-up (pardon the pun!) interesting, different and even tasty dishes, and nobody who has tried them has yet landed up in hospital.

So, here's a recipe I've concocted over time to make a delicious, home-made, French-style quiche. Absolutely loaded with calories, but so delicious and filling, and great served with a big salad. To make it, you will need:

• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 1/2 cup water
• a packet of levure chemique (you only get this in France I'm afraid; perhaps it could be adapted to baking powder or soda; yet to be tested!)
• flour
• 3 eggs
• 2 natural soya yoghurts
• a packet of chorizo slices
• grated cheese
• salt and pepper to season.

Method

In a big bowl, mix together the oil, water, levure chemique and salt and pepper. Then slowly add flour until it becomes a thick, doughy consistancy. Put into the fridge until it has a risen un tout petit peu.

Meanwhile, crack the eggs into another bowl and stir in the soya yoghurt, some more salt and pepper, and quite a lot of grated cheese.

Line a quiche dish (or round baking tray) with grease-proof paper. If you don''t have baking paper, smear the dish with butter and sprinkle flour over it. Roll out the dough until it's about 1cm thick. Press it into the baking tray and make sure to press it a little up the sides. Bake this in the oven for about 10mins at 200 degrees Celsius. 

Lower the heat in the oven to about 180 degrees. Take out the quiche base and place about 5 slices of chorizo to cover the bottom. Then pour in the eggy mixture. Finally, arrange the remaining chorizo on top and put back into the oven for about 10/15 mins.

Serve with more cheese.

Next time I make it, I'll try and remember to take a picture and I will add it to this post. Et voila, it's simple, tasty, and works. Even for 'work'-in-progress-cooks' like myself.

:)

All the Funny Things Kids Say

I need to start blogging about these. Enjoy!

"J'ai quelques prières en anglais parce que Jésus est anglaise."

"Il faut pas manger trop de gâteau parce que si tu manges trop de gâteau tu auras un bébé dans ta ventre."

-"Je ne comprends pas un seul mot qu'elle dit."   
-"C'est normale! Il faut apprendre l'allemand!"

I'll add to this list when I remember things or after I hear them :).

Adjusting your Point of View

I haven't updated my blog for a while due to the busyness of life, but a series of recent events has got me thinking about the power of our attitude and how  we choose to view the things that happen to us.

Shame and embarassment are very interesting emotions. Sometimes I feel as though I've reached rock-bottom in terms of my level of self-embarassment. For those of you who know me, I can do very clumsy and embarassing things which fortunately tend to entertain rather than repel my friends away. For example, my housemates have the joyous opportunity of witnessing the breakage of many household objects and appliances. Perhaps 'many' is too strong a quantifier, but I certainly have broken a few. First of all there's the microwave I witnessed expulsing yellow fumes after attempting to heat up my brownie inside. Then there's the chopping board I melted a big hole in the middle of. Not to mention the plates I've cracked or the mug handles I've broken off. It's amazing the unconditional love my housemates have for me. I hope Santa will be very good to them this year.

Since I always seem to be breaking things, or tripping over things, or tripping over tree roots on my way to fancy Valentine's Day dinners and beautifully grazing my knee through my beautiful Valentine's Day tights, or using inappropriate words without realising their connotations (in both languages), I felt as though I must have been purged of all my shame and embarassment. That is, until yesterday happened.

Yesterday is like a blur. All I remember is the flash of colleague breaking into the toilet cubicle as I was perched inside, minding my own business. I was at work and had innocently gone to the teacher's toilet during interval. Extreme tiredness had obviously heightened by acute sense of headlessness as I had forgotten to turn the key which locks the door. In my opinion, there is not much which is more embarassing than having a senior colleague see you in that subservient state of being. I realised that I certainly wasn't immune to feelings of shame and embarassment. Those emotions boiled away inside, pulpifying my inner organs into mush, along with my spirit and soul. I wanted to run away. I wondered how I was going to redeem myself in her estimation. Even worse; I would have to face her again straight away as I was about to go to her class to teach their 'atelier d'anglais.' I phoned one of my closest friends and ended up speaking to her boyfriend about my terrible ordeal. Having off-loaded it onto someone outwith the situation, I battled inside over what I was going to say to her when I saw her. "It wasn't me," or, "The dog ate it," didn't seem like appropriate excuses in this situation. Instead, I decided to turn it into a massive source of amusement for all concerned. I would laugh it off. So when the teacher entered, I smiled,  laughed, apologised, and she smiled and laughed and assured me that I would never forget to lock the toilet again. I think she can hardly know me at all. I'm sure it will happen again, at least once in my life. And I will have to experience this same level of shame and embarassment.

However, I feel as though there has been a vital lesson to learn from this experience. It has been both humbling and edifying. First of all, I will take extra caution at St Aignan to turn the key in the door before I presume the door is locked. Also, I have learnt that no matter how low you fall, you can still fall lower. You can always be more embarassing. Embarassment is good for the soul because it humbles you. The things which I do which embarass myself are good for other people because they entertain and amuse. Also, I once heard that when you are able to laugh at yourself, you can consider yourself a fully-grown adult. Uh-oh, guess that means I'm an adult. When did THAT happen??