I know heaps and heaps of girls who feel the same way I do. We all go through the similar kind of suffering. First of all there's the endless envy, comparing, and judging. We might feel jealous of girls who seem to be born with a natural 'perfect figure', and yet when we're with someone larger we somehow feel as though we have 'one-up' on them because at least we're slimmer than they are. We moan about skinny models and actresses and yet we cast haughty glances at larger women in public transport. We wallow in our self-pity that we will never be as beautiful as such a girl, and comfort ourselves with the thought that at least there are those who are worse. It's just simply pride, putting others down to feel better about ourselves. And at the end of the day, wouldn't you say that this is really all what it's about? Women only finding their self-worth in their appearance. It's a desperate climb towards that destination of physical perfection. A destination which for most proves to be utterly unattainable.
Culture and media do so much to convince us that we need to reach that eutopia of physical perfection. They tell us that if we do, we will be perfectly loved, no longer lonely, and always feel wonderful about ourselves. Perhaps we forget that how we feel about ourselves goes much deeper than our appearance. That some of the richest or most attractive people are in fact the most lonely (take the incident of the recent suicide of the actress and model Gia Allemand for example), and our culture is chalk-full of failed relationships between the beautiful and not-so-beautiful alike. Society around us tells us that men will be more attracted to us if we look like the super-models and actresses. But just take a look at this article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201206/eternal-curves. It demonstrates that a majority of men will feel more attracted to women with a waist size that is 60 to 70 percent of their hip size (i.e. they have a curvier shape).
Just think of all the money that is made through the continuous lie that all women must be very slim to be attractive. All the pills, dietary foods, fitness clubs, books, cellulite creams... I could go on and on listing all the products that we can spend so much of our money on just so we can look like we should (according to popular culture). Not to mention all the make-up and hair colouring and clothes we have to buy to complete the look of a stereotypically beautiful woman.
Now some women love sport, and that's great. But some women spend hours doing what they loathe (sacrificing time they could be spend with their families or things which would make them a lot happier) just so they can drop a dress-size or a few pounds. I like what Adele has to say on on this subject:
''I love food and hate exercise. I don't have time to work out... I don't want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone or Q. I'm not a trend-setter... I'm a singer... I'd rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album than look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album. My aim in life is never to be skinny.''
It's obvious that she hasn't let what popular culture determines a popular singer should be like to deter her career. She has a unique voice, a unique style of music, and she is confident in who she is. This is the kind of person the media should be praising, not the actress who has managed to drop from a size 6 to a size 2 by eating only lettuce.
It seems that popular culture has not always defined feminine beauty in the way it does today. Just look at this painting known as 'The Three Graces' by Peter Paul Rubens.
I'm sure that, like me, you are thinking that these women are not blessed with beautiful bottoms. However I'm sure that many of you readers can relate better to their bottoms than to the bottom of Pippa Middleton, for example. The reason we think like this is that culture has taught us what is beautiful and what is not. Back when these women were painted, in 1635, the 'rubenesque' body-type was actually the fashion. The 'extra pounds' carried were a sign of wealth, health and beauty. Nowadays, for these women to be seen as typically beautiful, they would have to slim down and tone up. Back in their day, a skinnier body-type would have been seen as lacking. See how culture has fashioned us to think the way we do!
Biology shows us that women are meant to have wider hips than men for the simple reason that they have to push out babies. Our modern-day annorexia-inducing society can even cause problems in menstraution and fertility -on top of all the pyschological and emotional damage- as a very skinny woman may stop menstruating all together. How sad that our society is putting beauty before health.
We don't even have to go so far back into history to see that our concept of beauty has changed. The famous Italian actress Sophia Loren from the 1950's and 60's, as well as the actress, model and singer Marlyn Monroe from just a little before Loren's time, were considered exceptionally beautiful women.
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Today Marlyn Monroe would be considered 'plus-sized' as she was a size 14. A model today is usually of an average size 4.
Many women are not satisfied with their own body-types, myself included. It takes a great deal of courage and self-acceptance to slip out of the mould society wants to fit you into and not let the media and society effect your perception of body-image.
In the end, what does it really matter? We don't want to be loved for what we look like or don't, but for who we are. And society's obsession with the ideal woman causes us to be side-tracked from the real problems around us like injustice, poverty, opression, greed...
If we were to stop comparing and judging just for one second, maybe we'd see the suffering little girl behind the perfect body, or the woman who can't stop eating because she feels so alone.
I think we've forgotten too that love is so much more than lust.
I'd love to hear any thoughts on this.
